“We all live in our reality bubble. My mom’s is just more colorful than most.”
– Dementia Daughter
I saw this on Facebook the other day on the “Dementia Awareness Every Day” page. Great page, by the way, I recommend checking it out if you love someone with a dementia. This is the perfect example of dancing in the moment. Dancing in the moment is both a literal and figurative thing when it comes to caring for someone with dementia. So let’s talk for a second about what that really means.
Have you ever been swept off your feet into a dance? I have. My hubby loves to spontaneously dance in the kitchen. Sometimes I feel a little kooky doing it. But what dancing in the moment does is take advantage of that one moment, not assuming that there will be more moments, having fun right then and there, and dancing the second you think of it. Because you know that in that second that is what you can and want. You take the chance before it slips away.
When you dance with your loved one in the moment, you don’t plan for fun. You don’t assume that there will be a future. You take advantage of the moment you have together right then and use it. When it comes to illness especially dementia, if you want to dance it is important to take the time for the fun of dancing right then.
Dancing in the moment involves both partners coming together in that moment and riding the same wave (another metaphor :)). It doesn’t matter whether I think my husband’s dancing is silly because we abandon those thoughts then we can really just enjoy ourselves in the moment.
I can have fun with him because I am willing to sacrifice composure and judging to enjoy him. It is the same way when a loved one has dementia or just doesn’t think as clearly anymore. When we dance with them in the moment, we are joining them in their reality. It doesn’t matter whether it is accurate or not. It is choosing not to judge, argue, or let ourselves become embarrassed by their reality and instead join them. And for that moment no matter how quick it does you can enjoy abandoning reality together.
How can you dance in the moment today?